she was so not down for the gang bang
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
