sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
high people should be assigned attendants
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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