based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
