i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize