Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
