Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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