My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
