I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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