So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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