About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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