Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
