I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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