Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
