Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
