Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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