I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
