How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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