just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is that strawberry winking at me??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
