mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
