so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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