Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
