You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
