when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never joke about your clitoris.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
