I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
