Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
