He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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