I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize