her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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