I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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