I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
