People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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