I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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