LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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