Need sex. Gaining weight.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
