i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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