yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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