The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
