Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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