I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
