Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
