Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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