Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
