Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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