Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
