I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
