STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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