I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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