watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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