remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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