Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Everyone says I win the strip club
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
