Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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