member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
