umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
