Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
