We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
