sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
