Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize