so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
