You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
