I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
