At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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