Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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